"You Didn't 'Like' My Post!"

"Moral pronouncements are divisive by their very nature. Facebook makes such pronouncements oh so easy."

"You didn't like my post!"

I groaned when I read the comment. A friend had declared moral umbrage on some matter of public interest. His opinion was strong. For my part, I could see where he was coming from but wasn't interested in the appearance of grand-standing. It can seem -- Lord, forgive me -- like "praying in public." We all remember the admonition of Christ early in the Sermon on the Mount. He told the Pharisees their public prayers were displays of righteousness to impress the crowds. Alas, this sin crouches at every door, and especially at every social media login. Certainly mine.

But the fact I couldn't "like" my friend's offended posture caused him to be offended at me. I wondered how he knew I had even seen the post. In any case, he wanted to know why I didn't "like" the post.

There are some reasons, which I will try to express. I didn't press "like" because:

1. I didn't "like" it. Social media is a web of reciprocity layered over real life. It can stifle love and honesty and forbearance. Since when in real life do we insist on others liking what we say or think or do? Well, I suppose this does happen when someone doesn't like the baked good we brought or obviously doesn't share our opinion. But should we shun them for it, reduce their status to "unwashed" because they can't see the unbridled excellence of our cookies or our theory?
2. I didn't want to press "like" for how it might contradict my true feelings. I mean, I wanted to like it even though I didn't fully agree. But I didn't want to press "like" under duress, feeling I must offer caveat or some such. For who on earth has time for the endless rabbit hole of discussion necessary to achieve civil understanding in these kinds of social media disagreements? They never -- well, almost never -- are helpful. At least not for the overly-opinionated yours truly. And the more contentious and delicate, the less likely any light will shine. If you can't fully agree, stay away! [Ugh! What an unhealthy reality this is in so-called discourse, but that's a broader, related discussion.]
3. Compounding these problems, various esteemed friends enthusiastically commented on the post. I like my friends. I enjoy knowing them and hearing their thoughts. It does not make the friendship better for me to bely my true feelings just because a friend likes something I can't really "like."

I suppose it all comes down to an effort to be honest with self and others. And it points to the ditch most of us step in from time to time. Certainly I have. If someone doesn't care for what we think or do or say we are free to assume what that may mean, and we may be correct. But we have to let it go. If we get offended, the friendship suffers a blow. Knowing when or if to try to talk it through is another matter. 

So what did I do? Well, since this is a mental exercise and the question didn't actually happen, I wrote about the possibility.

Do you sometimes wonder why a friend didn't "like" you. I think most of us learn to navigate this with maturity. But friendship falls victim if we are not vigilant. Moral pronouncements are divisive by their very nature. Facebook makes such pronouncements oh so easy. I am making such a sort of pronouncement in this very commentary. How do I avoid the "praying in public" I suggested above, the open declaration of my own umbrage because I can do it so easily and readily? 

I do not know the answer. But I am going to love my friend and not take umbrage at him for holding an opinion I can't fully agree with. There's a start and it calls for heart-changing prayer. Without genuine love which only God makes possible, I'll never give him permission to hold opinions I find offensive. And I'll always worry why he can't "like" what I think.