Last year we lost the prominent
Christian author Eugene Peterson. If you don't know his writing, I
recommend the acquaintance. Among his many books: A Long Obedience
in the Same Direction discussing discipleship in the Christian
life, and Leap Over a Wall, reflections on the life of David.
Peterson introduced me to the likes of Annie Dillard whose
Pulitzer-prize-winning narrative is based, incidentally, in a
neighborhood where I once lived.
Peterson's best gift may have been a
fresh window on the meaning of Scripture. I love most his re-telling
of an admonition in the New Testament letter of James: “Lead with
your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along
in the rear.” (MSG) Or as the inimitable KJV has it, “Be quick to
listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.” As always with James, this
hits us right where we live.
Alas, so much public discourse turns
this earthy admonition on its head. We hear something and find
ourselves provoked. Next, anger feeds our speech and all goes from
bad to worse until, exhausted, we decide to stop and listen. But by
then it is usually too late. The essential diet of humble pie is not
on the menu and, in any case, the news cycle has passed us by like
the insatiable leviathan it is. Truth wimpers and leaves us to our
lot, friendships and community suffer another blow, and we wonder
what is wrong.
James knew. “Listen first,” he
said. “Be slow to speak.” He might have added, “Until you
really listen, you have no idea what you are talking about.” Or,
“You have two ears and one mouth. Act accordingly.” Again, the
reverse of this advice is commonplace in various political messes. If
all of our leaders and talking heads 'led with their ears', much of
the discourse would evaporate.
But it is always easier to point
fingers elsewhere when the real test is at home, among friends, and
in the work place. Can we cultivate enough inner peace and be assured
of our place in God's good hands so we need not defend ourselves and
insist on our way of thinking? Can we gladly give the gift others desperately need, to let them talk out their understanding so they
may land in a better place? This is the heart of James' counsel, I
believe, and we do well to practice it daily.
Of course, none of this means we cannot
hold strong opinions. After all, what we believe most deeply about
life is what we want to share with loved ones and, eventually, the
whole community. Some ways of life are better than others, and we do
everyone a favor if we learn to listen respectfully and respond in
like manner. We may learn a better way. So might they!
I faced this challenge recently when a
friend called me to account for a strongly-worded opinion I expressed
on the fracas in Virginia over late-term abortion. “I share your
concern,” she said, “But you may be sacrificing truth on the
altar of an agenda. And that is never right.”
My first response, alas, was anger.
“How dare she disagree! Of course I am right!” But in quiet
waiting and necessary humbling I listened, heard both sides and
realized she had a point. Maybe some were over-reacting. Maybe the
ideas we hold dear are best lived out close to home where they matter
most. Maybe I need the lesson again to hold loosely the uncertain
verities of distant news. Maybe my words were not all
that important after all. Ouch!
In the end, I landed very close to
where I started but I had grown in openness and honesty because I
managed to heed James' words: “Listen first, speak slowly, leave
anger lagging far behind.” Finding the grace to submit to that
discipline always makes us better.
I hope you are doing well on this
journey. The early Christians said our faith seeks understanding. And
so with our faith, our families, political difficulties, myriad
relational problems in the mix of life, if we would grow in
understanding we need James' counsel. It is essential to healthy
friendships, families and communities, and I pray it can find renewal
in our life together.
