She explained to me that mom's tears where tears of sorrow that turned to tears of happiness and joy because of Jesus!
A tribute to my dear mother who went to
be with Jesus on this very date, 6 years ago...
She was small in stature -- not much more than
5'0” -- but had a heart bigger than the universe! She was a farmer's
daughter from Kentucky with 14 siblings. Her maiden name was Conner,
Irish descent so she had a good mix of fight and stubbornness! She
never flew on a plane, didn't want to. She never drove a car and only
went to school to the 8th grade. In the world's eyes she
would appear very simple, uneducated, no titles, no fame, no fortune.
But in the eyes of her children, grandchildren, and great
grandchildren she was a saint representing unconditional love, wisdom
– not wisdom from a book but from just living. She was strength,
she was an over comer, a force not to reckon with or if you did you
would regret it! She knew her mind, could speak it and yet knew when
best not to. She was lovely with a beautiful smile and contagious
laughter. Sang like a song bird, dancing about, light on her feet.
Always doing something, never lazy, working hard. Doing what needed
to be done.
For her, life dealt some very hard
blows, a lot of pain, a lot of burdens. But if you were to meet her
you would have never guessed it. She was an incredible person full of
life, love, endurance and persistence. If life was hard you just
dealt with it. She had 12 children, 2 passed on. She loved her
children deeply. Oh, she had her opinions and her ways of discipline
and for many of us children we felt it at the end of a switch or a
hand.... much deserved! But we all knew she loved us and was there
for us!
I remember one particular time playing
all afternoon at a friends house (did not get permission) and of
course mother was worried sick. I snuck in the back door and I ran
upstairs to my bedroom, thinking I could pretend to fall asleep and
not get in trouble, only to find a switch laying on the bed waiting
for me. So I took the switch, broke it in two and turned around and
there was mom standing in the doorway ...calmly she told me to march
right down stairs and go get another one. I thought that's fine I'll
get a thin one, it won't hurt. Needless to say that I had a lesson to
learn and many more!
There were no strangers to her, she
loved people. She had an unusual way of reaching out to others and
making them feel loved and important. They walked away feeling
special... I remember as child going with her door to door calling
for bus ministry, inviting people to church. She always took the time
to listen to many who were hurting. She didn't drive a car, but that
didn't stop her. We would just walk to a certain street and start at
one end and go door-to-door to the other end. She wanted people to
come to church and find Jesus!
Mom loved music. She played the guitar
and oh how I loved hearing her sing. She had that sweet mix of slight
Irish/country/story ballad type. I can see her now strumming the
guitar and singing. What a Day that will Be, There is an Unseen
Hand, Take My Hand Precious Lord, Some Through the water some through
flood, some through the fire but all through the blood, Where the
Roses never Fade, Thirty Pieces of Silver . She loved singing in
the church choir...music was a part of her life. Whenever we would go
to Conner reunions you could understand why...lots of music...lots of
singing; it's in their blood! She passed that love on to her
children! Every one of my brothers play the guitar and a sister plays
the piano!
Mom knew how to cook. She could take a
few ingredients, work her magic and make something absolutely
delicious out of it..She was known for her yeast rolls, her pies, her
fried chicken on and on the list goes. She would always have a
spread ready for her children to eat no matter what time they got in.
Something was always on the stove or in the oven ready to be
devoured. At Thanksgiving everyone always wanted her turkey dressing.
Even now when I smell certain spices they bring a flood of memories
of watching her cook, pouring love into what she made.
Mom loved Jesus! And that was it clear
and simple. We were living pretty close to downtown Indy, off of
State street when a knock on the door started a chain of events that
changed her life. A pastor, a bus ministry and mom agreeing to send
me – I must have needed it more then my siblings! -- to a little
Nazarene church on Washington St. I remember seeing children riding
the bus with their moms or seeing families coming to the church and I
would go back home and ask mom to please come with me.. not knowing
Jesus was already beginning the work. I clearly remember getting up
one Sunday morning and there she was dressed so beautiful ready to go
to church. It was that Sunday in the main service that I saw my
precious mother go forward to receive Jesus as her Savior! I remember
seeing her kneeling at the altar crying and not understanding why,
and a dear lady, Mrs. Hurt sat down beside me saying, “Janie do
you understand what's going on?” She began to explain to me that
mom's tears where tears of sorrow that turned to tears of happiness
and joy because of Jesus! My dear mother came to church that day with
a broken heart and left totally changed, transformed by the healing
hand of Jesus! She loved her Lord and wanted her family and others to
know Him. Calling became her mission! If she couldn't go door to door
she was on the phone making calls. I think how every Saturday she
would call her children. If they were not home that was ok she would
call till she got them even if it was very late at night. I'm sure
my siblings are smiling remember those calls and some sermons too!
We would always be there for her on Mother's day though...10
children, in laws, grandchildren...she was so pleased to see us all
there!
Oh how she loved us, full of spunk, vim
and vigor. You couldn't hide anything from her! She had a mischievous
streak, loved to play pranks. She ran, played, climbed right along
with us. She cried with us, laughed with us, prayed untold hours for
us. She talked to us, listened to us, always, always loving on us
with hugs and kisses. Those small arms and hands of hers wrapped
around our lives the greatness of who she was to us...our dear little
mother.
And so it was right about now as I am
writing this, six years ago that she was taking her last breaths. The
doctors were amazed scratching their heads that she lasted as long as
she did from the massive strokes. But her children knew she would
fight and hang on till she was ready! That's just how she was. I had
the privilege of having her in my arms those last moments and
singing, Where the roses never fade. All
was quiet and peaceful when she took that last step here from us and
entered another place to see her Lord!
I miss
her today, and know the rest of my dear family does too. We all have
many stories, many memories of this sweet little lady who gave us
life. How do you put into words a lifetime of treasures, to put it
on paper seems so inadequate to what the soul really feels. My soul
feels so incredibly blessed by this little woman. So much that to
some degree I understand the depth of love for her family. Here I am
reminded how the Lord has blessed me with a wonderful loving husband
and two precious sons. What a privilege I have in being a mother.
What gifts from the Lord Lawrence and Elliot are! My prayer is that I
can be to them what mom was to me. My heart is full of thanksgiving
and gratitude for this life I have been given. Happy Mother's Day,
Mom! I love you!
