Miracle of Grace

It fell my lot, as we say, to be the preacher for a small camp meeting. This was new to me and, for reasons hard to understand much less explain, I felt inadequate, even flatly unable. I have served as a pastor for almost 9 years, but the learning curve has been oh-so long and slow and bewildering at times; and of course, painful, for nothing truly good comes without pain. Sigh.

So I accepted this responsibility knowing I couldn't do it at all without the help of the Helper. And since it is His business, my part is to be available, willing, open and walking forward as a lamb to the slaughter. :)

One mentor stressed to me that I must simply be myself. So I kept that in mind. I can't be anyone else – hard enough to be at peace in my own skin. And I have to leave the results with God. It seems this is the perennial struggle of a preacher and it is normal. Who wants to fall flat, in public no less? And who dares to do something as heady and impossible as speaking for God? Anyone is a fool to do it unless he dies to self, walks through the crucible, lives in the crucible, relies on the Word, and rests in the ministry and aid of the Holy Spirit.

My overly self-conscious bent means I have to abandon worries about all of that, throw myself on God, and ask for mercy. Truly this is the case and I have normal reluctance in sharing all of this. :/

But I share it with joy to help myself remember. On the 3^rd night one of the ladies stood during testimony time and said, “I have a miracle to report.” This caught everyone's attention, and I turned around from the front row to listen better.

“One of our friends [she called his name] who is new in his walk with God had told me he wasn't really keen on the camp meeting this year.” It was clear she meant he wasn't sure he would gain much from this unknown visiting preacher, but she was being discreet and didn't say it like that.

She continued. “I replied that he would just have to pray for the camp and be open – who knows what God might do?” Then she gave the miracle. “He called me last night and said he had listened to the live stream from the first night. 'I was so wrong,' he said. 'It was like every word was from God.'” And then the friend continued to say that as he listened to the second service he couldn't stop weeping for the help the words brought to His soul.

Now dear reader, this is indeed a miracle, a sheer miracle. Of course God gives abilities and uses all that he gives us to bless others. But it is He who does it and we are vessels. Personal pride over such a thing would be folly of the highest rank. Rather, by the great grace of God, I find myself quite humbled, aptly shocked, and deeply grateful. God still moves and I will keep walking with halt and limp, but gaining strength as well, delighted in the goodness of God and His willingness to use even me.

Alleluiah.