Loving Fathers

There is a common saying: "The best thing a father can do for his children is love their mother." This speaks to the bonding unity so vital for stability in life. Children need it at home as the foundation for everything else. It is vital their parents are devoted to one another, that the sexual bond from which came a child be expressed in daily realities of committed care. Something like that.

But we should add to the saying above. Might this also be true? "The best thing a mother can do for her children is love and respect her husband."

This opens a can of worms, I guess, for I found it impossible to leave out the word respect. Why "respect her husband," when the same word was not used in the other saying?

I considered various explanations and can only land here: men and women are different and it seems the need for respect is written in. The reader can do with that as he or she will. It is just what seems true.

I mention this on the day after Father's day with a more general idea in mind. Encourage fathers. Love them. They want to do well. They are human. They feel their lack. They do not want to be coddled. In some real sense, suggested above, they don't even want to be loved. But they want to be appreciated, valued, honored, respected.

Is this a weakness? I doubt it. It simply is, and I confess to feeling a bit awkward saying it since I am a father and it can seem self-serving. But I am not going for the "poor-me," or "please understand."

I am merely saying Fathers need encouragement. Tell them. Let them know they matter. Remind them how much their children need them.

This is vital for our culture and for any family.

The best thing a mother can do for her children is love and respect their father.