"Definitely Some Lack"

[For some reason I felt I should re-post this today. No, I have no complaints! :) We have a wonderful congregation. So here it is fwiw (free!)]                 

a musing on pastoral performance, and lack

“Yes, definitely some lack.”

I smiled and grimaced at once, the words painful and familiar. A childhood friend and I were renewing acquaintance and he was telling me of a former pastor: “He was an OK preacher I guess, but kinda distant at times. And when my dad lost his job it was like our pastor didn't even know. Definitely some lack.”

Now that I am a pastor, I feel the sting. As a former parishioner, I know the reality of seeing the lack.

All pastors lack because they are, like you, human.

But why are we so easily disgruntled, askance, disaffected? What makes it so easy and natural to see the faults of our pastor?

There are many reasons to be sure, but one is the age-old problem of hero-need. Pastors are supposed to fill that need. Most do for some; a few do for most; none do for all. Pastors lack. Definitely.

So what is the parishioner to do? Here is an idea or 2 -- ok, three:

• Pray for your pastor. I dare you: really pray. Daily. By name. Praying may change your pastor and it will definitely change you if you stay with it. The pastor's lack may remain but it won't be nearly so obvious.

• Do what you can, in cooperation and harmony. The mildest initiative and leadership in church life will give you a look through the pastor's lens on the world. You'll be the better for it, become a practical asset, and understand his lack. You may even discover the perceived lack has a good reason behind it. And, best of all, you may be able to alleviate that reason!

• Get to know your pastor. Yes, this can be hard. Pastors fill a role that is often relationally awkward. They are supposed to have the right word, correct conduct, and always be available. This creates unique psychological challenges and puzzling behavior. But stay with it. When you are with your pastor up close and personal you may learn to really love him – lack and all.

Yes, your pastor has lack. It pains him more than it pains you. You can't help seeing it, but what if...

        - complaints give way to prayer

        - “This should happen!” gives way to “I wonder if I could do it?”, and

        -  You (yes, YOU!) act first and often to get acquainted. You may find a real person emerges and lack fades into the background.

And after all, isn't that they way you hope your pastor will care for you?