"Big Hat...no cattle."
I heard this expression on the radio the
other day, apparently common in Texas, true of human nature everywhere.
It brought to mind a tragedy
from Olathe, Kansas nearly 32 years ago today. Mark
Manglesdorf, student leader at nearby Mid-America Nazarene College,
murdered his lover's husband. The case went cold for 20 years and then in
2005 or so he was finally convicted and served a prison term which ended in 2016. He
had been the big man on campus. After graduation he went on to
Harvard and became a high level business executive, married with family, respected by
those who knew him. He lived all those years with a damning secret in
his heart, the guilt of murder.
Big Hat, no cattle. It speaks to the
human condition. We know in our bones that we're made for something
great, that we are stamped with the very image of God, that we were
Created. This
speaks to purpose, to meaning, to significance, and yes, to good,
loving behavior. This is our Big Hat...and
our cattle. We know we have substance, that we matter, that we are
born for a reason. We know
we have cattle. So we don the Big Hat. But, alas, the cattle die or run away. We find we cannot really own them. We find
we are not what we are supposed to be.
This
is sin, the tempter bruising the heal of the Deliverer, tricking Adam
and Eve. This is Adam betraying his Maker, Cain killing his
brother. This is "no cattle."
But we
keep the Big Hat.
Yes,
indeed, the Hat is fake if the cattle are not there. But we want the Hat
more than the cattle. We want to look good even when we are not. We
act in ways our heart betrays.
Big Hat...no cattle.
This
is the human condition and if Jesus does not have an answer for it,
then He is a fake. I believe He is real, that He is who He claimed
to be, and that He has an answer. So I'm going to leave off musing, read the Gospels, and find some answers.
Why does this matter? There
comes a final day for all of us, an ultimate reckoning. On that day
we may rejoice or tremble in the hat we wear.
On that day I want cattle.
On that day I want cattle.
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